Burn baby burn...

I decided yesterday to take my emotional issues and turn them into some energy. During Biggest Loser Couples, a friend on Facebook posted that she would be doing 5 real push ups. So I being insane wrote back and said I would see her push ups and raise her a set of lunges. OH MY GOSH. I had no idea how high I had upped the ante. Heaven help me I realized about the 4th commercial break of....oh a million ;) It was a 2 hour show, and honestly I have no idea how many commercial breaks they were. Guess it would have been smart to count the sets haha. Regardless my quads are burning like nobody's business. I actually am happy about that burn for once. It is as though it reminds me that I do have quad muscles and once had pretty nice legs. I can't wait to see those legs again.

I am pretty irritated with myself today still though. I lied to myself. I let myself slack all because I was too lazy to put together lunch. So for the 2nd day in a row I did not go to the gym and walk on my lunch. Instead I found it all too easy to make up reasons why I didn't have the time, or how I needed to get lunch first and that wouldn't leave me walking time. WRONG. As I waited for the pizza delivery guy (we'll get to that addiction later) I had a full 35 min I could have been walking. I am ridiculous. Well I made dinner tonight and have already pre-packaged it so it is lunch ready for the next two days. No more excuses. Make the time.

My eyes were opened wide when I watched an image of a 500+ lb man being shown his body on an MRI scan where his actual bones and muscles were and what else was fat. I could not believe my eyes. It was literally a person trapped inside of a fat facade. I realize that I am not 500+ lbs...but I do suffer from a similar illusion. This man sat there, his jaw dropping. Then he says to the Dr. "I have just always thought of myself as a big person. That I had big bones and big muscles and just an overall large frame. But now I can see that I've just been lying to myself, that somehow I have to break this false image I have of myself".

I think that this is often true for many overweight people, especially people who have been overweight for a large percentage of their life. You get used to seeing yourself that way, and you just start to think that this is your frame, this is your size and aside from visible rolls that are OBVIOUSLY fat you think the rest must just be you.

I want to break that lie. I want to see how fabulous I can actually look.

Here's to it :)