Thinking outside the box

Today I took the opportunity to do some better listening and to let a friend of mine help me find a little more of myself.

I didn't realize how little I really know myself. It was kind of refreshing to spit out words and get some feedback :) In this case it mostly translated into my personal style. I dress like some innocent, plain jane, boring mother most of the time. Then my friend today asks me, "you realize J that you are the woman who can pull off blue streaks and a funky hair do and rock the latest NY trends right...?" I looked at her like she must be smoking something and said yeah right.

(but a piece of me had to admit that the red streaks I added to my hair almost don't feel bold enough haha) and I DO love that classy, chic, slightly sassy look.

There is this wilder, brash, bold woman inside who desperately wants to make her debut. She does in little ways. I have to admit that I hate when I look in my closet and see clothes my mother might wear. (this would be ok if my mom was some 50 year old hipster...but that isn't the case)

So miss W took it upon herself to set out for an impromptu shopping trip where I was not allowed to try on, let alone buy, anything in black. Also all clothes were checked through her, and she also handed me items. I was not allowed to turn down at least trying them on. I have to admit that having someone who LOOKS at me often pick out my clothes was really helpful. She could actually see my shape and personality and pick things I would never dream. I came out of this deal with a FABULOUS dress and a super cute shirt that I NEVER in a million years would have tried on.

I also came to realize through conversation that I'm kidding myself when I say that I don't want anything serious in a relationship. I do. I need to figure out why I feel it is such a faux pas to say that I want something serious. Like I feel it is some death sentence for any date. I realize I just need to learn not to SAY that I want something serious but to realize it when I am sizing up the potentials. (ha potentials...oh man I'd like to just have A date) miss W also laughed at me when I said that I'd never really considered wearing such a nice dress on a date. Wow, maybe I need to class up my dates a little. Step out of the jeans and a cute top look.

Gosh sometimes I really just feel hopeless. ;)