Tuesday, April 6, 2010

And another week...

I did a great job for the most part eating the foods I had purchased from setting up a menu for the week. Now that I am in week two my interest ins waning. That has to be my biggest issue. I get all gung ho and then I lose steam.
I am sure that is pretty typical. The other issue is that as soon as I make it the healthy version I lose all track of portion size. I was doing fantastically and feeling great, and now I am bummed and back up 4 lbs. On a more positive note I am not yet back up to where I started so I better just get back on it.
I'm not sure of exactly how I am going to make this work. I know that WW is easier to track than typing up ALL of the information for the nutrition facts and putting it into sparkpeople. I do not wish to pay for WW again though because I don't have the ability to attend the meetings and so paying for it is just a waste of money. I have all of the info and the know how to follow the program at home. I just miss the support piece.
I have two utterly horrible motivations right now for wanting to lose the weight. They purely stem out of insecurity and well probably a dash of jealousy. I have a friend who just had her 3rd baby and I'll be damned if I still am just as fat after 1 child when she returns to her skinnier than she was in HS form. The other is a friend who just had surgery to achieve weight loss. I am terrible and must admit that I feel in some regards this is cheating. This person is fantastic but just BARELY met the criteria for the surgery and mostly because she started eating terribly again because she lost too much weigh to qualify by following a better diet.
I know that these are terrible things to feel about people that I do care about. Jealousy is an evil B. I need to work on that.
I do have a better motivation though. Several actually. I found some pictures from about 10 years ago where I was at my thinnest and wow I looked great. I remember how great I felt then too. I also want to be more able to run around with B. He is getting more and more active as the days go by. I also want to be in a better place come summer and that is fast approaching. I feel like this one small area spirals because I turn to food in times of stress. I had better start retraining my brain to find a better outlet.
I am debating whether or not I would like to return to counseling. I feel that there are a lot of things from my previous relationships and life that I cannot sort out on my own. I have some great friends and they help me by providing a great sounding board...but well they aren't paid to do that :)
Here's to a better week :)

2 comments:

  1. okay.
    im admitting to you.
    i have SUCKED.
    i ate Wendys.
    i ate ice cream.
    ive eaten donuts.
    lol thats just the past 36 hours.
    im seriously done.
    i made a promise to J in his blog that by the time he was 2 id be a healthy mom at her goal weight.
    i have 8 months.

    lets do this.

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  2. so what amazingness can we accomplish in 8 months...lets find out
    and I've had Del Taco, movie theater popcorn, cookies, soda, reeses, and cheetos....in the past 15 hours. UGH

    ReplyDelete