Little rain on my sunshine

Today started off a beautiful day! It was gorgeous and warm. I felt very positive. I had a meeting this morning that I hope went very well. I was also hoping to hear some news today, but alas all was quiet.

I am struggling to keep myself positive. I have got to move onto something new in my life, career-wise. I dread the end of my weekend (not in that normal "darn the weekend is over already?" way but in the I will scream and throw things and cry because I have to go back to work.)

I try to remain positive because I know that helps make work a little better. At this moment in time I have no choice. I cannot simply move on. The catalyst to all of these feelings is yet another friend lucky enough to put in her notice. It shook me, in fact it darn near broke me. I started to cry immediately. I was mad at myself for being so jealous, but well that is what I am. I am horribly green with envy.

I am praying that something will come through. I know that God will not give me more than I can handle, however, I truly feel he is making me stretch the last chord of my capabilities. I don't want this moment at the end of my day to have such an effect on what was a wonderful day off with my son. It angers me that at this moment I just want to crawl into a little whole and have pity party. Yes, I do realize that this does ABSOLUTELY NO good at all.

I am ready for my moment. I pray for patience, and for peace of mind. I don't know how I will continue to find it but I have to dig deep.