Final post with before and after photo from first goal!

This will be my final post on this blog, I now have a new one. www.mywanderingwonders.blogspot.com

I am loving my newer svelte size. I cannot wait to reach my ultimate goal. I want to be fit and healthy and finally want to wear a pair of shorts or dresses more often in the summer. Honestly the body I'd kill for is Sarah Jessica Parker (a la Carrie Bradshaw)

But for now here is me before

and here is me now :)

Coming to a close

I made it through my one year one month and 17 days. I learned so many things about myself, about my son, and about life in general. The last year of my twenties was illuminating, painful, directive and inspiring.

I set a goal to lose between 25 and 30 lbs by my 30th birthday; which I accomplished. I am so hapy on so many levels. I set a goal I accomlished, I look and feel so much better.

I have started my event coordination business which I'm loving and hoping to expand and make into something wonderful.

Now that the journey for this blog has come to a close I will be starting a new one.

Adieu

14 days....

14 DAYS!  Holy cow...how did the time fly so quickly. 14 days and the last year of my 20's will have bid adieu. Sometimes I think I am ready, that I have spent this last year in a place of tremendous growth and that I am ready to blossom into an amazing woman. Other times...I feel as unsure, self conscious and immature as ever. (Maybe knowing that is actually mature? Hmm interesting to ponder.)

This past year I have truly discovered my strength. I provide (for the most part solely) for my 3 year old son. I have been able to keep him fed, clothed and under a warm roof his entire life. I give him as much love as I can. I snuggle him daily, kiss him and tell him just how much he is loved. I remind myself in those moments where I feel like I will lose my patience, my nerve or my temper that I am a wonderful mom who is after all ONLY HUMAN. Sometimes I put myself in a time out just as I put him in a time out. 

I try to remind myself to breath, to love each day as the precious gift that it is. I found a quote the other day that I am trying to embrace and to weave into the fabric of my life; " Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow" Mary Jean Irion. I am striving to realize that I am not waiting for some life altering event, or some miracle or even someone to mark the beginning of my life. I am in it....it is happening....it is now. I am my own life altering force, my own miracle and my own ONE. Acceptance.....this has been a reoccurring lesson this year.

I have discovered deep and profound friendships in this past year. Those who have brought me closer in my walk with God. Those who have been wonderful mirrors allowing me to see the reflection of the good in the world and in myself. They have helped me also to see those things that I have been reluctant to admit. Or to see those things which I know about myself and previously viewed as negative which really are attributes that make up my unique beauty and charm. "The greatest good you can do for another is not just share your riches, but to reveal to him, his own."
-Benjamin Disraeli 

I had set a few weight goals along this path as well. One of them I am happy to say I expect to achieve. I decided about 4 months ago that I wanted to lose 30 lbs by my 30th birthday (which may I say again is in 14 DAYS). I am currently 1.4 lbs from reaching this goal. I am so very happy about being so close to achieving this. It feels good to have set a goal and accomplished it. Too often I have set goals and then left them by the wayside. I became discouraged or didn't have enough faith in myself to finish them. This my friends is only the start of a new and wonderful beginning. I am happy to be in a size smaller than I was before I was pregnant with my son. I am thrilled to be able to sit, bend move around and feel like I can breathe. I am appalled at how until the weight came off I didn't realize just how uncomfortable I was.  I feel blessed that I was finally in a place where I was comfortable with myself; yet doubly blessed that I am in a healthier place and still feeling comfortable with myself.

 I am still on my journey to finding a wonderful relationship. I am at least dating now which does inevitably put me one step closer. I spent nearly 3 years after my last relationship putting myself back together and learning to fall in love with me again. I wanted to be a healthy, loving and strong mother to my son. He was my main focus, me getting healthy mentally, physically and emotionally was merely the path I traveled to reach that place. By taking this time, I am in a place now to date the healthy way. Not feeling compelled to dive into any relationship that may come my way. Loving and understanding that I am worth the time and attention and that there are actually "plenty of fish in the sea". I have worked through so many false records in my head, smashed them and thrown them out like yesterday's trash. It feels good to clean house, it is hard and dirty work and I am happy to be doing it.  I may not be able to help that I am a hopeless romantic who wants a whisk you away, make other people slightly jealous love story....but I can prepare myself to be open to finding that kind of love by exemplifying that kind of love.

My 20's have been full of so many lessons, so many avenues for growth. Some I have come through with flying colors and other I have come through battered and bruised but ultimately a forever changed person because I have experienced them and have learned about myself through them. My 20's have made me these things: strong, loyal, diverse, passionate, inquisitive, a mother, a friend, a confidant, feminine, explorer, writer, photographer, event planner, baker, entertainer, classy, stylish, unique, healthy, happy, caring, giving, embracing, tenacious, stubborn, dedicated, driven.......There will be so much more to come.

Miss M.....you have been right that I have been neglecting my blog world.....this novella is for you....well okay and for me because I find writing to be so very cathartic.

little by little

Down just under a pound. At first I was pretty upset then I realized that A) I didn't go to the gym last week except once and B) It was Thanksgiving week. So losing at all is truly an accomplishment...oh just though of C) I had a ladies night with food and wine that week too. So truly I rock :)

I have been working little by little to keep positive, exercise often and eat much better than I had been. I love feeling lighter and healthier. I love seeing my clothes becoming too big. (although then I will need to find the funds for new clothes....hmm better get started on that one)

I now have 11 weeks left until my 30th birthday and hopefully also reaching my first goal. I cannot believe just how quickly this past year has flown by. When I started this blog it felt like this year was going to take it's sweet time getting anywhere. This is definitely not the case.

I took Boston on his first trip to the Oregon Coast Aquarium last night and he got to see lots of fish/aquatic life and Christmas lights and SANTA. I finally got his first picture with Santa ( he's nearly 3 but better late than never).

Happy Thanksgiving...and all that implies

I am terrible! 6 months since I have logged on and posted something. A lot has changed. I am currently working for the State of Oregon instead of toiling away in a job I was sure would claim my sanity.

I have been so much happier and more at peace since the switch! I couldn't have made a better choice, now if only the paycheck can start to equal the happiness...then I'm set. :)

I am also down 20 lbs from when I first began this blog which is making me very happy. I am terribly impatient and would just love to see the lbs fly off. However, supposedly "slow and steady wins the race" I just dunno ;)

I received the opportunity for a free 3 months at a local gym *due to their own shady past practices* and thanks to my wonderful mother I am able to go twice a week. I feel wonderful. I had forgotten how it feels to get up a good sweat and really start to feel happy with your effort and appearance. I missed the strength (both physical and mental) that comes from working out. I am happy to be making steps towards being the healthy happy woman and mother I deserve to be.

In the past few months I have made some amazing friends and strengthened friendships with others. Having this network has made a wonderful difference. I love having girls to gab with guys to laugh with and other mothers who are able to help each other out. We all know how tough single-mommyhood can be.

Happy Thanksgiving to all! Remember to say thank you to those around you who make a difference in your life and to remember all of the blessings that God has given to you!

Able to breathe a sigh of relief

I finally did it, I managed to get another job and move forward from Tmo.
This job has taught me a lot about what it takes to be successful and just how much I can handle. I am excite to take this knowledge and strength and move forward into another arena.

I was hired on with the state in the DMV field services division. I will be tackling a job never before held by anyone else and I am just ecstatic about the opportunity to pioneer something. I realize it is still an admin position and to some I am just a glorified secretary. I know that isn't what this position is going to be and I know I have the chance to make something of it. This job is going to further my experience and just propel me onto the next chapter.

I finally know I can breathe a sigh of relief. There is an end in sight, a light at the end of the tunnel. I have 10 more working days and then I am done. I am having a little bit of a hard time with letting some of my co-workers in on the news. I feel almost as though in some way I am letting them down. I have to work to remember that I am in charge of my own life and happiness just as much as they are of theirs.

I am so thankful that the Lord heard and answered my prayers. Woohoo welcome the new adventure.

Little rain on my sunshine

Today started off a beautiful day! It was gorgeous and warm. I felt very positive. I had a meeting this morning that I hope went very well. I was also hoping to hear some news today, but alas all was quiet.

I am struggling to keep myself positive. I have got to move onto something new in my life, career-wise. I dread the end of my weekend (not in that normal "darn the weekend is over already?" way but in the I will scream and throw things and cry because I have to go back to work.)

I try to remain positive because I know that helps make work a little better. At this moment in time I have no choice. I cannot simply move on. The catalyst to all of these feelings is yet another friend lucky enough to put in her notice. It shook me, in fact it darn near broke me. I started to cry immediately. I was mad at myself for being so jealous, but well that is what I am. I am horribly green with envy.

I am praying that something will come through. I know that God will not give me more than I can handle, however, I truly feel he is making me stretch the last chord of my capabilities. I don't want this moment at the end of my day to have such an effect on what was a wonderful day off with my son. It angers me that at this moment I just want to crawl into a little whole and have pity party. Yes, I do realize that this does ABSOLUTELY NO good at all.

I am ready for my moment. I pray for patience, and for peace of mind. I don't know how I will continue to find it but I have to dig deep.